The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself great post to read is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. Numerous gay men want to discover from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses basics off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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